As a culture, we are fascinated by youth and terrified of age. Visiting a nursing home for the abandoned elderly gives both justification to this fear and the observation that it is ours. Two pieces I read this week offer some common sense information for two foundational institutions that are idealized for American youth both inside and outside the church. In each case the idealization itself undermines the institution and leads to its own destruction. I suspect that in each case we would save ourselves much grief if we could less afford the age segregation we consider desirable today.

In the first, Carolyn Hax gives advice to “Las Vegas Lovers” who imagine that avoiding the institution of marriage will help them avoid the kind of unhappy relationships they’ve seen in the marriages of others. Before marching out the standard relational bromides, she breaks through with the frank and obvious observation that “life can suck the life out of someone.” To me, it is a breath of fresh air in the triumphal procession of airbrushed propaganda in modern social idolatry. Time kills almost everything, except Edward Cullen of course.

The second article is a fascinating piece in New York Magazine on why parents hate parenting. It contains this insightful quote:

Not only did they find that couples’ overall marital satisfaction went down if they had kids; they found that every successive generation was more put out by having them than the last—our current one most of all. Even more surprisingly, they found that parents’ dissatisfaction only grew the more money they had, even though they had the purchasing power to buy more child care. ‘And my hypothesis about why this is, in both cases, is the same,’ says [psychologist Jean] Twenge. ‘They become parents later in life. There’s a loss of freedom, a loss of autonomy. It’s totally different from going from your parents’ house to immediately having a baby. Now you know what you’re giving up.’

Our really good idols offer us both the promise of rapturous exaltation and a reliable path to its acquisition. I would imagine the devil knows what an idol looks like better than we do not just because he’s the devil, but because he’s so old. Not all who are old are wise, not all who are young are foolish, but experience mixed with honesty can teach you a lot. The better the gift, the greater it’s capacity for idolatry and more susceptible we are to its lures.

Right from its inception the community of Christ was intended to be multi-generational. Those who have walked similar paths to our own, both the living and the dead through their writings, are available to be heard. In honest listening there is much salvation from grief.

Do we seek a body of Christ segregated by age? When we enter a church service and see it dominated by the aged (and there are many) do we imagine we may have discovered a wealth of unhurried, untapped wisdom? Do we imagine only new books have something to offer? In most cases learning from previous generations requires some effort of cultural translation. Do we see the value in breaking out of the prison of age segregation?

Marriage Matters by Tony Evans

Marriages today are deteriorating at such a high rate not because we no longer get along, but because we have lost sight of the purpose and prosperity of the marriage covenant. Marriage Matters examines the nature of this covenant, or agreement, we enter into on our wedding day. Tony Evans looks to the Scriptures to define what a covenant is, who makes it, and what the implications are. Chaos arises when we seek to do things our way--the need to align ourselves according to biblical standards of marriage is evident. As Evans explains in the opening pages, "Most people today view marriage as a means of looking for love, happiness and fulfillment. Make no mistake about it, those things are important. Those things are critical. They are just not the most critical."

So why should you consider picking up this title?

• It's only a booklet (which would give you more time to read additional books!)
• Evans is extremely engaging and offers great, relevant illustrations
• We are heading into marriage season (June) when newly married couples need to read this message
• Finally this book will help you explain clearly what marriage is... "Marriage is a covenantal union designed to strengthen the capability of each partner to carry out the plan of God in their lives" and why...Marriage Matters.

Humanitarian Jesus by Christian Buckley & Ryan Dobson

What would Christ be doing if He was walking the earth today? Would He be running a foundation, pastoring a church, teaching at a seminary, working in political advocacy, or living amongst people -- healing, touching, and feeding?

More importantly -- why would He being doing it?

In Humanitarian Jesus, Christian Buckley and Ryan Dobson challenges Christians to think about the role of humanitarian works in the Christian life and to consider what it means and look like to be God's ministers' of reconciliation and to share God's message of salvation.

A thorough review of this subject matter will inform how you should live out your walk as a disciple of Christ in today's humanitarian-charged society.

Voices of the True Woman Movement by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

In October 2008, over 6000 gathered for the first True Woman conference to hear God's Word and to affirm His mission and purpose for their lives. Voices of the True Woman Movement is a collection of messages from John Piper, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Mary Kassian, Joni Eareckson Tada, Janet Parshall, Karen Lorritts, and Fern Nichols initially heard at this conference. Also included is a robust section called Going Deeper: A Guide for Personal Reflection and Small Group Discussion divided into nine sessions enabling further study and application of the biblical way of thinking about womanhood. Are you ready to discover God's beautiful design for your life?

Character Counts by Charles H. Dyer

Ready for a spiritual "stress test?" Read Character Counts: The Power of Personal Integrity by Charles Dyer. Follow him as he gives an account of some of the best and worst that both contemporary culture and the Bible have to offer. What separates those whose lives have influence and a positive legacy from so many others? The world offers "the good life," God gives eternal life. The world emphasizes "doing," God emphasizes "being." The world stresses achievement, God stresses integrity. The world pressures to conform, God seeks to transform. The world focuses on the outward signs of "success," God focuses on the inner qualities of the heart.

How are your spiritual vital signs on the treadmill of life? Any irregularities? What's your prognosis?

Sponsor:

 

The phrase usually flies out of my kids’ mouths when I’m asking them to do things like eat their vegetables, take a bath, or brush their teeth. I don’t ask them to do these things because I take great pleasure is seeing them uncomfortable, but rather because I love them and want them to be healthy.

The last time my four year old whined how much he didn’t want to eat his green beans, he added that mommies never have to do anything they don’t want to do. I tried not to laugh and reminded him about all the loads of laundry I wash, the dishes I scrub, and the toilets I clean. But I also couldn’t help but wonder how many times I’ve told God I didn’t want to do something because it took me too far out of my comfort zone.

I’ll be the first to admit it: I like to be comfortable. I don’t really like unexpected changes or challenges. When we traveled to China to adopt our daughter in August of 2009, I knew I was taking the biggest leap of faith in my life. While I was prepared for Evie to have cleft lip and palate and a repaired congenital heart disease, I was not ready for my new two year old daughter to be so delayed that she was more like a three month old baby.

While I loved Evie from the minute I saw her picture, and the love grew even more when I held her for the first time, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t completely devastated to learn that she didn’t know how to walk, how to play with toys, or even how to turn the page of a book. As I watched other parents receive their children, I couldn’t help but notice that their kids could all walk, would smile, and laugh. I found myself asking God why me? Why was my beautiful daughter completely shutdown? Why didn’t she look at us? Why couldn’t she walk? Why did she only weigh 15 pounds?

As I wallowed in my own self-pity, my husband told me something that I already knew: God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Let him work. Give him control. Then he gently reminded me that we prayed for God to lead us to our daughter. It was no mistake that we were Evie’s parents. So we took our daughter home and settled into our new, sometimes uncomfortable, normal as a family of five.

Seven months, and many, many developmental therapy and speech seasons later, Evie is catching up to her peers. She is smart, spunky, and full of energy. It hasn’t always been easy, but stepping out of my comfort zone has allowed me to experience a new joy. I’m no longer going through the motions of my faith, but I get to experience and see God in a deep and profound way.

I don’t want to think about what I would have missed if I had simply said, “ I don’t want to do this. Adoption is too hard.”

Are you listening to God? Is he asking you to do something? What would happen if you simply trusted him and stepped out in faith?

I wish my son was as good at growing as he is at baseball. This is Elijah in the midst of his teammates from his Little League tournament team, the Woodstock Tsunamis.

Also check out the most touching Billy Collins poem (to me) "The Lanyard." It's something I like to point to each April in remembrance of my Mom, who died of cancer in April of 2007.

Also check out the most touching Billy Collins poem (to me) "The Lanyard." It's something I like to point to each April in remembrance of my Mom, who died of cancer in April of 2007.

My real family is loud, opinionated, and chaotic.

Evie, the three year old, is in a tantrum, my way or the highway, phase. She is stubborn, strong-willed, and at times, downright defiant.  Caleb, my four year old, never sits still. He is either running on turbo or passed out asleep, there’s no in-between.  And Joshua, my seven year old, is set in his ways, and likes to argue.

In the past, I’ve been frustrated and, yes, I’ll admit, even embarrassed by their unruly behavior.  But then one day, when I picked up Caleb from school his teacher told me he was a joy to have in class.  A joy? My Caleb? I doubted her honesty and asked if he actually sat still and listened.  She smiled, and didn’t answer my question directly, but instead told me he had real passion and loved life.  Now those are exceptional qualities.

Maybe I’ve been looking at my children all wrong.  Yes, Evie is stubborn and has tantrums. But if I really look at where she’s been, it starts to make sense. She spent two and a half years in an orphanage, fighting for food, fighting for attention, and ultimately fighting for her life. She was born with Tetralogy of Fallot, a serious congenital heart disease and cleft lip and palate, most children would have died. Evie fought. She didn’t give up. I do not want to squash the fighter in her.

And when I look at Caleb through my new lens of motherhood, I see a boy who bounds through life with pure joy. Yes joy. It’s an emotion a lot of adults wish they could feel. Joy comes naturally to him. Joy is not something I want to stifle.

And then there’s Joshua, the oldest of the bunch. Arguing is never pretty on a child and we’re working on lessening that. But even at seven years old, he has deeply rooted beliefs in God and he’s not afraid to defend them. He understands and can explain the plan of salvation and what it means to be baptized. As he grows older, I pray that he continues to stand firm in his beliefs ready to defend them against anyone who challenges him.

Over the past few months, I’ve set new boundaries, one that can nurture my kids’ God-given traits. Evie likes control. So I give it to her with things like picking out her own clothes and shoes. She’s had less tantrums and is proud of her new independence. I’ve given Caleb more opportunities to burn off his energy. He used to run and jump around the house, which would drive me crazy. Now I turn up the music and we dance together. Not only is he happy, but he’s worn out and sits through dinner. And Joshua, my budding lawyer, is arguing less. But I’ve engaged him in conversations that he’s allowed to have an opinion in and am teaching him how to respectfully speak to adults.

My new boundaries are a lot harder to enforce, because honestly it’s a lot more work for me. If the kids misbehaved or were too wild, I used to send them to their room, which would give me a break from them, too. It was a one-size-fits all punishment, which doesn’t work for all my kids. Now, instead of punishing them, I want to discipline them and guide them to use their gifts in appropriate situations.

I’m no expert in parenting and I’m still learning. But my house is a little more peaceful, the kids are happier, and I’m less frustrated. I pray every day that they will grow into exceptional adults who further the Kingdom.

How about you? How are you raising exceptional kids?

Tullian Tchividjian: Counterfeit Gospels

The good news of the gospel is that both inside and outside the church, there is only One Savior and Lord, namely Jesus. And he came, not to angrily strip away our freedom, but to affectionately strip away our slavery to lesser things so that we might become truly free!

Jeff Vanderstelt: Gospel Hospitality, Gospel Hospitality In Our Neighborhood

As I was just talking to Jayne about this she said many people are willing to do the basics of hospitality, but shut down once it gets difficult and messy. It is at this point, where the Gospel gives us strength to continue AND where the opportunities to give a reason for our hope (1 Peter 3:15) open up because most people (believer and unbeliever alike) know how to be “good neighbors”, however, very few are willing to “suffer” (if we can call it that) for the sake of others.

We have found that the mess and the difficulty of loving hospitality done in the power of the Gospel is one of the most powerful witnesses we’ve had to our neighborhood.

Drew Goodmanson quoting Francis Schaeffer (from sermon)

Don't start with a big program. Don't suddenly think you can add to your church budget and begin. Start personally and start in your home. I dare you. I dare you in the name of Jesus Christ. Do what I am going to suggest. Begin by opening your home for community...

How many times in the past year have you risked having a drunk vomit on your carpeted floor? How in the world, then, can you talk about compassion and about community--about the church's job in the inner city?

Tim Chester reviews ReJesus by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch

Joe Thorn: Do You Love the Law?

But here's the rub: we can only love the law after it has been fulfilled by Christ on our behalf. The law will only be a delight to us after we have found life by the gospel.

A photo of my wife made the local paper. A photo of our son, Daniel (from a few years back), made a golf website by my SIU golf team buddy, Steve Keeler: DLRGolf.com.

Lifehacker: Create your own QR-Code, like this one for my Tim Keller Resources...

But it was something at the very end of the book, in the acknowledgments, that really got me.  In thanking his wife, Keller quotes John Newton writing to his wife Polly:

It is no wonder if so many years, so many endearments, so many obligations have produced such an uncommon effect, that by long habit, it is almost impossible for me to draw a breath, in which you are not involved.

I don't know if anyone has ever better summarized the beauty of marriage in one sentence.

I have yet to assess a church planter who wants to move to a declining, smaller city and reach out to blue collar factory workers, mechanics, or construction crews. Not one with an evangelsitic strategy to go after the 50-something administrative assistant who’s been working at the same low-paying insurance firm for three decades now....Why is that?

Brent Thomas: Would You Like To Be Part of a Movement...

Though, on paper, we offer much less than other churches (we “do” Sunday mornings and Community Groups), we are actually asking you to consider an entire reorientation of your life around the Mission of God (Missio Dei), to be part of a movement, to transform the culture of the NorthWest Phoenix Valley through the power of the Gospel.

New resource from TheGoodBook.com called Beginning with God...

Beginning With God helps parents start a Bible-reading routine with their preschool-age children. The beautifully-designed book from The Good Book Company is an easy-to-use companion to the Beginner’s Bible and other popular toddler’s Bibles.